Panel 1: Hoo boy. Two speech bubbles and already Jack has shown us three mistakes. First, the DM should have said, "Okay, wizard, it's your turn." Not only do DMs not dicate players' actions, but how do we know that the wizard wasn't going to throw a quickened spell in on the side? Second, as far as I know, there is no spell that causes blindness without a saving throw aside from power word, blind, and that is not a "spell of light" (not to mention that the odds of getting your hands of a scroll of a seventh-level spell in an eighth-level party are pretty low. Third, "spell of light?" There are only several dozen and then some light-based spells in existence. You're gonna need to be more specific. (Not an error per se, but you would think the player would also be more specific than "the monster.")
Panel 2: Killing the PC by fiat? Bad DM! Now, had it been a trap of power word, kill that would have been acceptable by the rules, but it was specifically labeled as a poison trap. No attack roll? No Reflex save? No Fortitude save? No rolling of Constitution damage (Sure, there are a few instant-kill poisons out there, but the other points still stand)? As for BLACK LEAF?!? I'm not even going to bother going there. But I will take a look at the response: "Marcie, get out of here! YOU'RE DEAD! You don't exist anymore!" Perhaps you've forgotten, Mr. Chick, that D&D is a social game. Death is not an excuse to kick a player out. Marcie would either be rolling up a new character or waiting for somebody to cast raise dead. Mr. Chick has also forgotten how much of a revolving door D&D death has.
Panel 3: As for the idea of D&D teaching real-world spellcasting, I have only this to say: if that were remotely possible, gamers would have conquered the world long ago. Either that or blown it up by mistake. Oh, and qualifying by virtue of her cleric being 8th level? What's up with that? You would think that the bar would at least be at a point where on gains access to a new levels of spells ingame, but 8th is a rather boring level for clerics. Unless you're really excited about being able to turn that wight. Then again, the line "you have the personality for it now" could be interpreted as a reference to the 8th-level ability score increase being put into Charisma...if I had the slightest suspicion that Jack knew the rules that well.
Panel 4: "Priestess" and "witch" are NOT synonymous. Assuming that he is using witch as the female equivalent of wizard, they don't even cast from the same family of spells. And there is no way that Debbie is multiclassing already.
Panel 5: Okay, this one's rather boring. All I can do here is say, "First spell (i.e. first-level spell)? REAL POWER? Don't make me laugh. Sure, any spellcasting beats no spellcasting, but still: fear my COLOR SPRAY!"
Panel 6: *sigh* There is no "mind bondage" spell. Perhaps you meant, charm person?
Panel 7: Only $200? That's no min/maxer mentality, Debbie. If you're going to use Enchantment (Charm) [Mind-Affecting] spells on your family members to make them carry out your will, you might as well go all out.
Panel 8: You are playing by yourself. Um, no. I doubt the DM is invisible. Also, since there are no other players at the table, you won't make anyone wait by talking to Marcie. It's not like the Zombie (inexplicably captialized) is going anywhere. But most egregiously: you are playing an 8th-level cleric (probably higher by now), and you're having trouble with a ZOMBIE? Black Leaf probably would have done better in the coven.
Panel 9: Again, see my note on revolving door D&D death and player response.
Panel 10: Hooray for narm!
Panel 11: No, it's not your fault Black Leaf died. See my note about poor trap implementation on the part of the DM.
Panel 12: You won't be keeping many players around with an attitude like that.
Panel 13: See my note on bad DM-ing. Again. And regarding the law of your faith, I'd say that using...ahem...mind bondage is treading the line.
Panel 14: Nothing to say here, except that Jack has totally undermined himself. But we knew that already.
Panel 15: And heeere comes the DMPC to save the day!
Panel 16: How, may I ask, do you know what she's involved in? Did you cast scrying?
Panel 17: "Dungeon of bondage." Cute.
Panel 18: *British accent* We have found a gamer! May we burn her?
Panel 19: Interesting that we only see one person coming forward. In fact, the folks in the background look downright bored.
Panel 20: Huh. She thinks the PHB has more influence than the DM? Hasn't she ever heard of Rule Zero?
Panel 21: One last thought: This guy is calling upon a divine power to achieve supernatural results with the assistance of verbal and somatic components. Not unlike the manner in which D&D clerics cast spells...
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