Blah blah blah

This is the first school night in a while that I have had nothing due next day. On the other hand, dance rehearsal is running late and I have the draft of a five-page paper due Friday. Meh. I don't need to have all five pages, I'll have time at home, and I already have three pages.

At lunch I was sure that this post would be several pages long given the overwhelming urge I felt to talk to anyone about anything, but I seem to have gotten over it now. I still want to talk; it's just not causing me to walk around wide-eyed wile muttering, "needtotalk needtotalk needtotalk."

Let's see, I have a new backpack, and...

Well, isn't this just typical? NOTHING TO SAY!

Okay, I got something. On the way to school today my mom asked me if Poppet still had his part-time job. I did not know and said as much. She said she simply did not undertand male friendships. Were it her and another woman they would share everything. Part time jobs just aren't that interesting in and of themselves. If they were I would have asked, or if his job was particularly interesting he would have brought it up.

I seem to have another paper cut that I have no idea how I got. On the other hand, it's quite shallow, so I suppose it didn't reach any nerves.

Lively conversation going on to my right. They're talking about Wikipedia. I've been going over Wiki lately, editing the Legend of Zelda entries where I can elaborate or something needs to be corrected. Wiki is where I have acquired most of my Marvel knowledge.

Later.

In memoriam

This post is dedicated to my rolling backback, which finally died today when the handle fell apart entirely. Rest in peace, backpack, completely ignorant of the fact that I will just get a new one and not grieve in the slightest.

VERY odd dream

I'll elaborate after school; I don't have the time now.

Well, I was going to talk about my dream some more, now, but I got waylaid by some freshmen asking about junior prom (which I am not attending for multiple reasons) and then by my creative writing teacher asking about Honors (which I will be taking), so now I have not as much time as I hoped. Here goes anyway.

I dreamed that our school had Adolf Hitler as a guest speaker. In addition to not being nearly as old as he should be by now, he was, surprisingly, very pleasant. At least, aside from the taking-over-Europe and exterminating-the-Jews issues he was very pleasant. For some reason he claimed several patches of the California coast as Germany's as well as a very large piece of land out in the Atlantic. Finally, I learned from one of his entourage what "Ja whol" meant. It meant, "Stand up straight, little schoolboy, or I will shoot you!" This was not directed at me; he was just explaining what it meant. Lesson learned: This is the last time I stay up late watching The Producers!

Marry me, Charity, and destroy you I will

Memo test for Sweet Charity Act II today. A+ for me, even though I suffered a major identity crisis during the last scene. Depending on when you walked in you would have thought I was Jamaican, French, Trotsky, Italian, Yoda, or Gollum.

This is why I wear slip-ons whenever possible

Every Friday until March is going to consist of running for Death Valley conditioning. Today was the first day in my new running shoes. They fit fine, but I would run a few dozen feet and the laces would come untied on one shoe, the other, or both. Eventually I just gave up and risked tripping myself into a faceplant. Luckily, no faceplants were included in today's schedule.

Banquo has been giving me more troubles of a sanguinary nature. I wish I knew why. Before late December I never got nosebleeds. As a matter of fact, my lower face as a whole does not like me at this point in time.

No dance rehearsal today, so until my mom checks her phone and sees my message I'm stuck here at school, blogging. Here's hoping the thought well doesn't run out and I am forced to "make life interesting."

I know: I'll fall back on a class review.

Chinese History: Communist v Nationalist debate. Which I missed the first chunk of due to a backpack fitting. I was on the side of the Communists and we won without even trying (read: even though we neglected several possible arguments).

Creative Writing: We wrote a poem titled, "Things I Could Never Tell My Parents." The only requirements were that it had to be true and that contemplating suicide would be reported (otherwise confidential). I happen to know that my parents read my blog, so guess whether I'll post my poem. Don't try to tell me that you'll just skip over this entry, parental figures; I'm taking no chances! ;)

Ah! That was just my mom calling. So I have about ten more minutes to kill.

My little simcountry of Ganica seems to be doing fairly well (see www.nationstates.net). I wasn't quite aiming for the Psychotic Dictatorship archetype, but oh well. Is case you are wondering, the name is based off of Ganon. Further proof that I am a geek.

I was recapping my day, wasn't I? All right now, Mister No Attention Span will finish this up.

Math: Banquo. And a piece of paper torn out of your notebook is not a good tissue substitute.

Lunch: Meat of some kind (stroganoff?) and rice.

Spanish: Sharing sappy song lyrics. Mine even generated a collective "Awwwww!" from the girl table.

Bio: Solving a DNA translation code to Mission Impossible music. Our bio teacher has a healthy sense of humor, although he is regrettably given to bad puns. Teach him, Eloquent!

Conditioning: Already talked about.

Rehearsal: Short.

Blogging: Over.

*crunch*

Mental note: When I'm telling Charity I love her and want to marry her, I should attempt to refrain from unconsciously crushing her hand. Oops.

At one point in the scene, Peter T said that I should be moved to tears. Uh oh. I can't remember the last time I cried, and it certainly hasn't been in the last few years. I know, the first advice you get is, "try to think of what brings you to that place." Well, I tried enivisoning some things that I thought might help (and you are definitely not going to hear what). No luck. Arrrg! I HATE this masculine emotional range of a robot!

Finally finished all 804 strips of Questionable Content. Now I need to play the wait-until-tomorrow game. Sigh...

And because my eye starts twitching if I don't post something morbid, here's a question: What would be worse for your food to do incessantly when you bit into it: scream or bleed?

New link

WARNING! Do not follow this link if you have anything on your schedule! Dangerous levels of addiction ahead!

I thought Order of the Stick was good, but...wow. Pintsize has got to be one of the funniest characters out there!

Huh.

Until today I did not know that there were pink trenchcoats.

In addition, I have decided to name my nose Banquo.

Apparently I am a very good jumper. That's what the dance teacher said, anyway.

Never shake thy gory locks at me!

Well, when I got up this morning, got dressed, and looked in the mirror, I certainly looked the part of a vengeful Banquo. The mouth was a particularly interesting touch.

I might also add that my brain is evil. It made me dream that I didn't wake up until 7:30 and that, by failing to grade some math papers on time, I had lost my soul to the math teacher (who is ordinarily a very nice person). Between the two, I suppose waking up late isn't all that evil.

Now I really should go clean up.

Pillowman

I just got back from seeing a performance of "The Pillowman." I loved it. Well-written, funny, a bit unsettling (okay, maybe more than a bit depending on who you ask), and I like Andy Murray. Interestingly, I appeared to be the youngest person in the audience by a couple of decades.

Mouth opens, sound comes out

Again, I am possessed with the need to talk. And again, as is my near-default unless something significant just happened, I have nothing to say!

I hate that! Girls talk so EASILY, and even the guys I know have no problems contributing to a conversation. But most conversations in which I am involved consist of the other person talking and me listening, occasionally adding a word or two of my own. If I feel particularly talkative, I may even speak a full sentence. I have noticed over the years that one of the things I do is listen to other people's conversations. Even though it has nothing to do with me, it has almost the same effect as if I were included.

Seeing these words being typed out in front of me is little better. My computer can't talk back, and now everyone who reads my blog has a(nother?) window into my little world of self-pity. But it's still better than nothing, and I got a full paragraph out of it.

Now my thoughts turn to a journal I got back the other day. We had a free-write, and I wrote about my blog and the Venetians. The comments my creative writing teacher left said that she really learned a lot about me from reading the journal. I didn't get very deep or thoughtful, so I don't know how it told her "a lot" about me. But I guess that's why she's the teacher and I'm the student, huh?

Brain's run dry. Will come back later.

Third thing

Penguin has a blog of his own now. In but a matter of minutes it will be added to my links.

There.

Two things

First, I will state that Charity and I were miffed in nature when, after being called up to the theater for a lunch rehearsal, Peter T didn't even show up for seventeen minutes!

Second, I have a new dentist.

That my having a new dentist made it onto my blog should cue you in to how interesting my life has been over the last couple of days.

My 100th rumination/rambling

As the title implies, this is my hundredth post on my blog. Considering how heavily I was blogging through November and December, that's not particularly significant. I just noticed it and thought I would mention. Will save future milestone posts for milestones of time. Moving on.

Putting my TA hat on for a moment, I sent off another problem for the Algebra II classes yesterday. I hope they know their exponents and recursive functions or it could be a bit of a doozy.

School computers are evil. So slow, so reluctant to let me print or email stuff. I would just bring my laptop to school, but when I do my files have a nasty little habit of being sucked into a black hole. So that's obviously out.

Integrals just became a lot less evil, what with us learning the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus today.

Anime club met again at lunch today. We're watching Record of Lodoss War. Parn? Ghim? Etoh? The names in this series are so...so... (Beast interjects) Stupid.

Sweet Charity folks had a memo test for Act I today. I messed up on one of my lines, which is doubly infuriating since I knew the line earlier today, but that mistake notwithstanding I am 100% sure that I got an A on the test.

Keep smiling, all!

Maria's other favorite things

Cough drops, dead roses, and blisters on kittens
Scalding hot kettles and barbed wire mittens
Curtains of teeth tied to long, tangled strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Bleached bones of ponies and overdone streudels
Deep wells and death knells and shrapnel in noodles
Wild geese with birdshot in both of their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses all marred with wide gashes
Blizzards that freeze off my nose and eyelashes
Mattresses piercing me with broken springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

...I have no idea how my mind got onto this one.

It's the thought that counts

Parents turn on TV. Some program is on, young actors pretending to have sex. Parents promptly change to the nature channel. Voila, we see dolphins actually having sex.

Oh, well.

Venetian gathering today. Unfortunately, it was only Penguin, Squeak, and myself. Our discussions ranged from the Shakespearian to the randomly humorous to the morbid. I continue to maintain that Penguin deserves at least one awesome point for possessing a bobble-head Gollum.

Sooo collllld....

Just needed to share that. *nose falls off* Uh oh.

One of the seniors is going to be conducting interviews for the school newspaper to clear up some misconceptions about us Behind the Commons folk. The stereotype seems to be that we are freaks. What the misconceptions are I don't know.

Pant...pant...

Especially considering how much I've griped about the Spanish current events assignements, discovering you have one due the next day when it's eight in the evening...not a pleasant sensation. Got it done, but still. Not a pleasant sensation.

Now it's off to shower.

Time to kill

...so why not kill it (DIE! DIE! DIE!) by blogging? Blogging something to death. Interesting concept.

Creative writing in-class assignment was a "word salad" poem made only using words put up on the board by the students. I, being me, wrote up the words "wicked, " "ravenous," and "apocalyptic."

This just in: Impulse and Lilith like my use of "DIE! DIE! DIE!"

Must think of more to say.

Ah, yes: I have had Rhythm of Life stuck in my head for the last day and a half! Grrr! Nothing against the song per se, but still. Head-stuck songs can be some of the most irritating things ever!

I'm just going to write a string of morbid words until I run out or think of something better to say.

Death blood pain doom helpless fear undead scream hatred suicide Republican whoa how'd that get in there? *shifty eyes*

Bad idea. Let's think of something else to do.

The Venetians will finally have their Secret Santa gift exchange this Saturday.

Still 10-15 minutes to go before I need to head to the chorus room.

Why is my brain so blank right now?!?

A lesson from lunch: Watching a button and screw dance about on top of a set of ipod speakers can be surprisingly fun.

Me so smart. Me so smart me can't keep track of which of my friends have met each other. Me can't use proper grammar either.

14 minutes left. *checks schedule* No, closer to 40 minutes. D'oh!

I need to work on memorizing my lines. So I'm going to do that and cut this blog. Later!

Various updates

I haven't said much lately, so here are the recent events of my life.

Conditioning for a 26-day Death Valley backpacking has begun. We've only met twice so far. Most of it is hiking (of course), but we also stretch and do some other things, e.g. hopping up and down stairs on one foot, balancing on one foot with eyes closed, walking up and down a thin rail running along said stairs, and such. I seem to be handling the hiking quite well.

Part of my backpack broke off today. It's still entirely useable, but I think it's a sign that this is the last year I'll use it.

Lilith is writing a play on her blog. Check it out.

Drama has spent the last few classes watching Good Will Hunting, and I will be co-directing one of the scenes with one of my classmates. For those of you who have seen the movie, it's the first scene where Will meets with Robin Williams's character.

In calculus we have begun working with integrals. *Vader voice* NOOOOOOOOOO!

Leaving appearance for last, I have started wearing my hair in a ponytail. It's still a bit short to be 100% practical, but I like it. Hopefully I can dissuade Peter T from making me chop it off for Oscar. Maybe I can hide my hair under my collar or something....

Questions

A bunch of questions I wrote up the other evening when I was feeling particularly bleak.

Is the best way to die to die mad?
To be so utterly detached from the world you don't even realize what's happening?
If you knew you were to die at dawn, would you be able to sleep?
Would you try to sleep?
Would you want death to sneak up on you like that?
Or would you stay awake, wanting to squeeze every last second out of your life?
If an apocalypse was coming, would you run?
Would you hold on to the hope that you can escape?
Would you accept your fate?
Or could you not bring yourself to run, standing paralyzed as death crashes down upon you?
If you looked Death in the face and it smiled, would you smile back?
Would you show it your rage?
Or would you close your eyes?
As you heard the strikes of a clock that heralded your doom, would you listen?
Would you cover your ears?
Or would you jam the gears of the clock and tear off its hands in hopes it would stop?
If you had the power to bring death to everyone else, could you be driven to it by any means?
If you were to die as well, would that make a difference?
If the only way to save the world from an eternal tyrant were to destroy it, would you do it if you could?
If you stopped time forever, what would you do?
Would it be the same to you as an apocalypse?
If you were the only living thing left on Earth, what would you do?
Would you try to live as long as you could and let yourself die slowly?
Or would you commit suicide?
If you knew you were someone's dream, would you conspire to keep that one in eternal sleep?
If you knew the world was a dream, what would you do?
What if you knew the dream caused the dreamer pain?
If you could end death for all, but only by ending birth as well, would you do it?
If you could end pain, but not death, would you do it?
If the world were about to end and you could stop time but not change a thing, would you do it?
If you were forced to choose between the destruction of your civilization and the destruction of another, what would be the deciding factor?
Do any of these questions even matter?

Freudian slip

Reading back over my older posts, I came across my long assassin sentence. Typo: Instead of "standards," I wrote "stabdards." *strokes chin*

Role reversals and other events

Turns out the old Oscar is back in the play, but due to other issues he's now Vittorio and I'm still Oscar, so each of us now has the first choice role of the other. Awkward...

Finally got all three people I need to recommend me for the Ashland Shakespeare seminar this summer! Now I just need to get off my lazy butt and finish the application. I've got almost three months, so no pressure (yet).

You know, I wasn't going to mention this, but I had to explain it to everybody and their dog at school today (and was referred to as "crazy" and "scary" for it on diferent occasions), so why not on my blog? Here goes:

At the Venetian New Year's party, we took some pictures of a reenactment of the "Banquo's ghost" scene from Macbeth. I was cast as Banquo's ghost. For some reason I remembered the line, "Never shake thy gory locks at me." Since my nose had been bleeding about ten minutes ago, I thought it would be a simple matter to enhance my costme by literally having gory locks and I slipped into the bathroom. Several minutes of rubbing, pinching, and otherwise manhandling my nose later (Manhandling one's nose? Odd way of putting it.), no dice. At this point I thought, " Hey, I'm not going to do all this for nothing. I want blood, and I'll get some blood!" So out come the fingernails. Unfortunately, fingernails are not as sharp as this task required, and the other Venetians forbade me from going any further, so I really did go through all that for nothing.

And that, if you didn't already know, is why I have a scar on my forehead.

I swear (again) I am not mentally unbalanced! I was just a bit frustrated and sleep-deprived.

No title

Today was my first creative writing class. We each had to write a 50-100-word story ending with, "Hello, my name is ___." I wrote mine using my last poem as a base.

Sweet Charity rehearsals began today (the read-through doesn't count). As we were missing a few poeple, I became Super Sub, playing the roles of Charlie and a five-year-old girl. According to Lilith, my portrayal of the latter was reminiscent of Gollum.

Dance rehearsal was okay.

Mmm...good sauce on the dinner potatoes.

Drama developments

With rehearsals running until 6 daily and no free periods this semester, I can kiss my free time goodbye.

Interesting: Due to the original male lead being forced to drop out of Sweet Charity, I am now Oscar. Nothing against the role itself, but now I have much less time to emorize many more lines. Fun.

I can evoke the strangest expressions sometimes.

So begin my new classes of modern Chinese history and creative writing. Bwahaha! Now I have a cast-iron excuse to write morbid poems! Like this one:

Looking in the mirror,
Hating what I see,
Sharpening my hunting knife,
Longing to be free,

Throwing at the mirror,
Feeling slicing pain,
Seeing my reflection bleed,
Bleeding just the same,

Watching cracks expand,
In a glassy heap I fall,
Asking who's reflected whom,
Am I real at all?

Paper cuts sting. How does one get a paper cut and not even notice?

Well.

Writing and line memorization went more quickly than expected. So now I have blogging time, but do I have anything of substance to say?

Yes. I can talk about my trip to Atlanta and the Venetian party.

Most of my time there was spent at my grandparents' house. We, among other things, talked much, watched Goldeneye, took a tour of my aunt and uncle's house, spent time with my cousins, one of 2 years 6 months and the other as the one minus the two years, and I spent some more time with my uncle discussing games.

Seeing the Venetians was wonderful as ever! We met at Impulse's house for 18 hours straight, and it was our biggest meeting since the cast party. The attendees were myself, Impulse (seeing as it was her house), Squeak, Presence, Strident, Penguin, Eloquent, Everything, Gift, Mysterious (long time no see!), and Ridiculously Cute. While waiting for others to arrive various of us played Memory and Scrabble (Eloquent crushed us. only time for two rounds and Eloquent got a score of 97. *bows and worships*), looked at Van Helsing's Demon Hunter's Handbook (where my inner D&D geek spotted some nitpicks). We also took some pictures in reenactment of the "Banquo's ghost" scene from Macbeth (I was Banquo, although the others forbade me from literally having "gory locks" to shake), and passed around a head massager. As the night wore on we stayed up to celebrate the new year, then we retired to Impulse's TV room to watch a 30-minute musical titled Pretty Dead Woman and then Some Like it Hot (first Monroe movie I've seen), read Stellaluna, and finally went to sleep at 4 in the morning. For the record, that makes the first time I've stayed up for 24 hours straight. I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop, sleep-wise.

Had some company over today for a meeting. I was still wearing a robe at the time, which resulting in various anctics on my part involving optical barriers and running around the outside of the house to reach my room without being seen.

I go back to school in two days. I don't wanna! Want more vacation!

Happy New Year!

My first blog post of 2007!

I probably will not do any more blogging until the 4th, as I have until then to finish memorizing my lines for Sweet Charity, as well as a bunch of other stuff to do.