Night 2 of OFotCN hath been nailed. In my opinion, tonight was even better than last. In particular, I felt that I did a better job in my suicide scene with Ratched. T met with us earlier for character work, which helped us synch up in terms of subtext, but I think that my pre-show meditation attempt was helpful as well.
We've been working on meditation for the last couple of weeks in Humanitas, and in the last two days things have finally started to get interesting. On Thursday I experienced the feeling of my equilibrium going haywire: it was as if I were lying on a platform which kept tilitng and spinning. Aside from the initial shock of what I felt, it was great. Today I was the guinea pig for a dream interpretation. I entered meditation again while Bruce asked me questions about what was in the dream (starting with a recurring dream I had last year) and prompting me to delve deeper into it. I felt some of the spinning again, but also a heaviness and thickness in my body, and I lost track of the location of my arms. I still knew where they were logically, but they felt as though they were in a diferent position. I was still a bit spaced out when I reached advisory, and somebody had brought donuts. The titular quote then escaped my lips.
During some downtime in rehearsal I tried to re-enter the meditative state. My cell phone rang and snapped me out of it, but I could tell that I had dipped a toe into a dark place in my mind. It's an odd mix of the negative emotions you've triggered and the excitement of such delving. I tried to draw upon that place in the performance and I believe it strengthened me.
Tomorrow I will meditate again if I have an opportunity and dive as far as I can. If it gives me tools to push myself to greater emotional extremes, then let my casements be unstopped!
Oh. Here are the notes taken during the dream exercise:
"Forest Cave"
- sky is dark--either evening or early morning
- evergreens
- pine needles--brown on ground, green on trees
- fog but clear where he is
- can see mountain in the distance
- rocks scattered, 1/2 the ize of his body
- stone archway--cave
- more than 30 ft, less than 100 ft away from cave
- only can see 3 ft into cave
- no one around
- water dripping from the roof of the cave
- pebbles on the ground, air clammy, smells like it has been raining in the cave
- 50 ft into the cave, moving slowly
- a lot brighter outside--10 a.m. maybe?
- turning downhill, and narrower
- usually would have noticed zombies by now, but not this time
- some branches off to the sides--a good distance ahead
- the wal of the cave feels smooth, but not flat
- call out: someone responded, "Come on!" in a higher voice.
- Who is it? No voice, but metal banging on stone--follow the sound...
- Taking first branch on the right--cave becoming even narrower
- hole in the ground, otherwise a dead end
- sound coming from the wall behind the hole
- call out..."Come on in; the water's nice."
- dropped a rock in the hole, made a splash
- jumped--water fairly cool, mid-thigh--larger chamber, dry ground a short distance away
- two bodies floating on either side
- face almost as if half done
- hair-black
- corpse
- other body--face down, brown hair, Tshirt and shorts, heavy boots but still floating
- push the one w/ the boots to shore, but very heavy
- anyone else in cave? --> some insects, possibly beetles, but none on or near the ground
- call out...noise comes from straight ahead
- an outline suggesting a door
- arms feels heavier and wider
- ask for person to come out
- door shattered & disappeared
- someone coming out: skinny as a straw, wearing a hat, name given as Sarah but voice like a boy's, in dream because it got lost
- Why calling Peter? ...heard me in cave and hoping to get a ride out
- "Put me in a bottle"--but I don't have a bottle
- About to say something but noticed something, ran off, & jumped up the hole
- blob of orange/yellow light in the next room--> going inside
- Room bigger than the last, 4 pillars, covered in vines, waer ankle deep
- walls retreated & disappeared
- now sees the zombies
- walk over, ask who they are? "Nobody" fell over & began to twitch
- "You dealt with us on the hill before"
- Want me to apoligize for killing them
- Are you willing?
- Have themselves confused with someone else--so "no" I won't apologize
- Ask them for a gift...
- They started screaming
- Tell them they must give you a gift...
- Holding out its hands--growing, extendng from bright blue bulb, no idea what it is--one part hollow
- zombies quiet
- dismiss them--white and frozen, faded away...they're gone
It ended there for class, although Bruce thought there was quite a bit of material we could have uncovered with time. I hope we get back to it next week.
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