Time to turn topsy turvy

I've been feeling down for the past few days, so apologies if that bleeds into my post too much.

Yesterday a number of us met in Berkeley. We went to an Indian restaurant, checked out some books from the library, started to read Love's Labour's Lost, didn't finish, bought a few copies of Oscar Wilde plays, and read part of The Importance of Being Ernest. It was getting late, so Gentleman and Atlas went home while Loyal, Bedlam, and I crashed at Lantern's apartment for the night. We read more Wilde, talked about fairy tales, about life, and many other things besides.

Lantern walked with me back to the BART station this morning, which I appreciated. A random meta-thought question of mine was, "Do you ever think a thought and then wonder what the subtext was?" I asked because, while watching Hunchback the other night, I thought that Quasimodo did not have his head on entirely straight during his first song when he claimed that one day "out there" was all he asked. Quasi, methinks it would be better to stay up in the belltower than to step out for one day, realize what's out there, and never be able to go out again. When I brought this up, Lantern said that everyone needs to determine for themselves how much time one should spend in the belltower. Never leave, you'll go crazy. Never go inside, you'll go crazy. Everyone has their own balance. When we reached the station, she told me that I need to look for what's good for me. "And that doesn't mean riding roughshod over other people; you're not Richard III."

I don't know what I need most, but what my life does not need right now is more time up in that belltower! I've lived up there so long that it's become easy. It's easy, but it's not fun. Gargoyles make poor conversation!