Simple math

Dad + Solicitors = beverages sprayed onto the carpet from laughing as he TEARS THEM TO PIECES. "No, I'm just the live-in boyfriend. The husband is out right now." ... "Jamaica? What do they speak there, French or English? 'Cause, you know, those Calypso singers..." ... "That's in Florida, right?" *SPRAY*

(they call back)

*new voice* "Boyfriend!? What's this about a boyfriend? There is no boyfriend! Excuse me, but I'm going to have some serious words with my wife!" *click*

He's awesome. Unless you're a solicitor.